How it Began...

The day was warm, it was sometime in August. I remember that day. It is a day that was completely erased from my memory for many years…decades.

I went to my kingdom like most other days. HE came along with me. (I am not choosing to use a name, so I will refer to this person as 'HE', 'HIM', and 'HIS') HE would come with me many times to the castle, we would talk, and dream. Many of our conversations were mind opening and enjoyable. This day, things were different. This is the day when the kingdom fell.

We were outside the castle, beside the large tree. I was expressing how hot and tired I was. HE agreed with me. I took off my shirt to let the breeze blow across my skin, carrying the sweat away in its wake. HE did the same. It was not unusual for us to take off our shirts and dream together, it was a hot day.

It is unclear to me what the conversation was about at that time. I remember HIM talking about being grown up. HE was older than me, I was envious to some extent that HE could do grown up things. We talked about cars, girls, and other things that grown-ups had or did.

Sometime during the conversation, I remember HIM asking me if I knew about sex. I was embarrassed, not about the topic, I had no idea about it and felt like a kid not a grown-up. HE told me about sex, and that it was a very good thing. I later learned that HIS version of sex was warped and far from reality. Also, it was far from a good thing, it was the thing that tore my kingdom to the ground. The kingdom that would never be rebuilt again.

HE took off the rest of his clothes. I have seen HIM this way before. I was always intrigued by the differences in our bodies. HE had a grown up body, there were many differences in HIS body than mine. I could not wait to have a grown up body. Sometime later, I was cursed by a grown up body, a body that brought pain and shame.

HE asked me to take off my cloths, it was hot, and HE was concerned about me staying cool. I took off my cloths, and HE was right. The breeze cooled the rest of my body. We laid down in the emerald cool grass. We were looking at the large fluffy white clouds, imagining what they were. I remember seeing a lion and other animals. I was amazed at how the lion changed to a dog, then to a shape that was unique and unidentifiable.